NOSTALGIA BRITAIN - BRINGING BACK THE GOOD OLD DAYS

How satisfying it is to see — at last — Britain doubling down on the full fat, non-metric vision of Brexit we were promised in the 2016 referendum.

The flames in Belfast may look like cars set ablaze by rival gang violence, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. In the bigger picture, these lights in Northern Ireland are — in fact — the lights at the end of the tunnel.

The United Kingdom hasn’t been able to express itself in good old-fashioned sectarian violence since the Thatcher years, over a generation ago.

Brexit has been a long, bad tempered struggle to wrest the soul of the nation away from the internationalist cabal of metropolitan elites. History will ultimately record these transitional years as a triumph of doughty, unapologetic patriots like the PM.

The vast majority of hard-working Britons (outside the sneering neoliberal cities) back Boris and his vision of post-Brexit Britain.

What better, more reassuring symbol of Brexit than the bright bonfires of Ulster illuminating the night sky, like a string of beacons marking (or, dare we say, guarding) the borders of our noble United Kingdom?

Word on the Westminster grapevine is the Conservative government will present a white paper detailing “Back To The Good Old Days” legislation.

According to Baroness Bimblebrain, a raft of proposed laws is to be tabled. The new legislation will be characterised by a balance of “… f’ckwit nostalgia for an idealised past privilege…” and “… pig-headed insouciance to contradiction…” It was reassuring to hear that these attitudes will apply particularly to foreign countries, including the island of Ireland.

Baroness Bimblebrain, who’s been one of the PM’s closest aides since the landslide election victory in 2019, also stressed the importance of “… practical popular measures like the ‘Captain Tom 100’ restoration of traditional media.”

“We want to go back to four TV channels, like how it used to be,” added the Baroness.

Measures are due to be debated in Parliament in the coming weeks.

Earlier today, the Daily Telegraph revealed news that the influential Tory frontbencher Jacob Rees-Mogg — acting head of the powerful Anglican Research Society of England (ARSE) — is pushing for more extreme regulation.

ARSE backs the so-called “Durbar” amendments. These propose limiting television to three channels (i.e. no more reactionary Channel 4) and compulsory black-and-white cathode ray tube technology, enormous cabinets with doors to hide the television screen; which will of course be tiny.

Rees-Mogg has been quoted reassuring the public there would be a free Toby jug (of a premier, frontline royal) for every family. To be placed on top of the television cabinet.

[more on this story as it develops…]

And did those feet, in ancient time,
Walk upon England’s mountains green,
And was the holy Lamb of God,
On England’s pleasant pastures seen…

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